|
Go with the flow...
June 2007 |
Using 20+ years of life-consultation experience, I teach people how to get unstuck emotionally, so they can effectively reach their goals. I keep up on research addressing this fun, life-enhancing work, and I enjoy sharing what I've learned. Please tell others about this digest, and contact me if you have any comments, questions, or good jokes!
|
Quote
In the realm of ideas, everything depends on enthusiasm; in the real world, all rests on perseverance
--Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe |
|
Dealing with the yins and yangs of
life
The May/June issue of
Spirituality & Health magazine features an interesting "Care
of the Soul" column by Thomas Moore, entitled "Living with Opposites." He
speaks of the benefits of living comfortably with all of life's
imperfections instead of bouncing between desired perfection and fearful
despair.
Moore, advocates "going with
the symptoms," as follows: "Uncomfortable, symptomatic emotions are
usually not character flaws, but raw material in need of refinement. [For
example,] if you worry about pride, yet feel worthless, you need to refine
both feelings. Raw pride can't handle defeat and runs away from it; raw
worthlessness implodes. Going with the symptom of pride can help you
locate a more expansive self-love; following worthlessness may lead to
healthy questioning. Going with the symptom, you become a [bigger]
person."
Sometimes my clients feel as if their problems
put them on a see-saw (teeter totter). One solution slams
down and seems "right." Then, the solution on the
other side slams down and it feels "right." I help my clients to
think about the whole situation differently so that the see-saw disappears and
possible solutions become clearer to them. I have been saying for years
that I need a yin-yang poster in my office!Contact me
for information
about how my approach can get you off the emotional
see-saw. |
|
Helpful ways to think about
forgiveness
In the Spring 2007 edition of
Going Bonkers? magazine, Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. presents the
article Forgive for Good
.
The article points out that,
although most people agree that it is good to forgive, we often have
strong beliefs that get in the way of us practicing this very healthy and
beneficial
act.
Luskin recommends these ways
to think about forgiveness, which motivate us to forgive
more:
I think that most of my
work with clients is an exercise in how to
focus on a situation in a way that feels better and facilitates movement.
Whether it be ways of thinking about career, marriage, dating, friendship, money,
or forgiveness, it's so important to have a way of thinking about
a situation that helps you instead of hurts you. Contact me
for more information about developing better approaches to
life. Follow this link for more
information about Going Bonkers? magazine.
| |
Searching for a career? Do
something...anything.
The May 14th edition of the
Boston Globe printed an article In the BostonWorks section by
Penelope Trunk that offered practical and intriguing advice for people
searching for a career. It makes a strong case that "huge soul searching"
is highly overrated and pales in comparison to taking
action.
Case in point? Brett
Zaccardi, chief executive of the marketing firm Street Attack. Steve
started off studying physics, grew interested in the local Boston music
scene, found himself doing marketing (which involved networking with
people he liked), realized he could make a business of this work, and quit
school and started Street
Attack.
When this strategy is boiled down, it can be
summarized as this: keep doing things that you like until one of them
turns into a career. The article points out that "knowing oneself (soul
searching) is not an end game; it is infinite. So there's no point in
waiting until you 'know yourself' to pick a career." Another point is that
sticking to the first job you try is not as beneficial as moving around;
you can learn from making a choice you don't like.
Much of my consulting work with clients
involves them taking some action, and then coming back to tell me about
how things turned out and how it made them feel. Our ongoing conversations
shed light on what they enjoy and value, who they are, and
how to proceed with knowledge gleaned from their experiences. Contact me
for information my approach to career decisions.
|
|
Quote
A sailor without a
destination cannot hope for a favorable
wind.
--Leon Tec |
|
Keep your investment advisor out
of your pockets
Recently, in the Boston
area, there was a high profile case of a financial planner stealing
people's life savings. In response, the Boston Globe ran the
article How to keep your investment advisor from robbing you
blind in its May 27th
edition.
In summary, the article
suggests that you take Ronald Reagan's famous advice ("trust, but
verify"). Here is a summary of specific
points:
Creating and managing
wealth creates resources that we use to build our lives. And there
are few topics that involve intense emotions like money.Contact me
for information about how my emotion-management work can be blended
with sound financial planning as part of your overall path toward building
a happy and peaceful life. |
|
"So, the 'age of information' is a GOOD
thing?"
The May/June issue of
Spirituality & Health reports on a recent study in New
Zealand that was published in the British Medical Journal. The
research indicated that more information is better when it comes to
healing.
The
study evaluated 92 patients
who suffered from chest pain and who were referred for a stress test.
The study divided people into three groups: one that received a form-information
sheet about the meaning of negative results, one that received
a pamphlet on the same subject, and one that received both a pamphlet
and a visit with a health psychologist to discuss the test and meanings
of the results. The third group reported less subsequent chest pain
and tended to have stopped taking cardiac medication. They concluded that the
deciding factor was that the third group received more information about
the
test.
The author of the report focused on how
the interpersonal touch may have accounted for some of the additional healing. in
addition, I know that I learn more when I (and those around me) get to
ask questions and use conversation to "work through things."
I think of it as "information" versus "making meaning." It is this "working through
things together" feeling that I try to foster with my clients, whether
it is about our consultation partnership or some other relationship that helps
them to learn and make sense of their world.Contact me
for more information...it's good for your health! ;-)
|
|
Quote He that leaveth nothing to
chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few
things.
--George Savile |