Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. 

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

A recent edition of the Harvard Mental Health Letter reviewed recent findings in neuroscience regarding the teenage moods and behaviors that have adults asking, "What's wrong with kids today?"

The problem is not intellectual maturity.  By ages 15 to 16, most adolescents' capabilities in abstract reasoning, memory, and formal planning are present.  However, recent studies have shown that teenagers find it more difficult to interrupt an action under way ("stop speeding"), to think before acting ("learn how deep the water is before you dive"), to choose between safer and riskier alternatives, and to respond to social pressures. 

 

Recent research shows that brain circuitry is not mature until the early twenties.  Among the last connections to be fully established are the links between the prefrontal cortex, where judgment and problem solving occur, and the emotion centers in the limbic system.  Danile Goleman, in Emotional Intelligence, describes how this particular brain circuitry affects how well we blend emotion and reason to form "wise" decisions.

 

The current research lines up nicely with the information presented in Emotional Intelligence, which provides a strong argument for teaching emotion-management skills to children as their intellects and brains are still developing.  This also validates my shift in emphasis toward 1-on-1 tutoring and classroom teaching as a means to help people to lead more peaceful and happy lives.  Contact me for more information about how my new therapeutic teaching approach can help teenagers and adults of all ages to learn how to live better.

Rose Kreider, working for the Fertility and Family Statistics Branch of the United States Census Bureau, coauthored a recent report saying that the "50%" divorce rate frequently referenced may be overstated.

 

Her new formula--which, among other things, removes children of non-marrying age from consideration--determined that the divorce rate is 41% and has remained relatively flat for two decades.

 

Larry Bumpass, professor emeritus of sociology at the University of Wisconsin's Center for Demography, finds problems with Kreider's new formula.  He states that it does not take into consideration second marriages, which fail at a much higher rate.  He also states that the number of unmarried couples is rapidly growing.

 

First, the notion that a given couple will stay together "forever" is approximately 50/50.  Second, my experience as a therapeutic teacher has shown me that people have intensely emotional desires to "get it right"; approximately 70% of my clients have some "quality of relationship" issues that they bring to our work.  Because people so strongly desire success in this area of their lives, and because the failure rate is so high, I work hard to assist my clients with lessons designed to help their love lives work, and it has resulted in one of my first seminars focusing on this topic (the one-day workshop, Dating 101).  Contact me for more information on this new workshop, whose first offering will be in the spring of 2006.

Writing in a recent issue of Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training , J. Russell Ramsay and  Anthony Rostain examine the experiences of adults with ADHD, including those who were diagnosed as children.

 

Ramsay and Rostain estimate that 50% to 70% of children diagnosed with ADHD continue to face significant symptoms into adulthood.  The researchers describe how these clients appear superficially  ("I'm lazy," "S/he's not interested in anyone else, and barely listens") can contribute to mislabeling and inefficient attempts to help.  Ramsay and Rostain recommend that professionals engage in a "significant psychoeducational component" that focuses on relabeling behaviors and learning new skills to manage situations.

 

When I read reports like this, I feel more and more excited about my new classroom seminars (Dating 101 and Creating Daily Joy).  Education and skill building are key.  Learning in a friendly, group-oriented, classroom situation is more fun and familiar than having to sit across from a medical professional who is "diagnosing" you.  Contact me for more information about how therapeutic teaching can be a more fun and effective way for you to build peace of mind and fun into your life.l

Some of the biggest failures I"ve had were successes.

--Pearl Baily

Weary of ineffective couples counseling, some are deciding to reduce marital conflict by creating postnuptial contracts, an article in the December 19, 2005 edition of the Boston Globe reports.  Such contracts structure agreements on issues such as separation of finances, family obligations (who washes the dishes, and so on), provisions regarding divorce, and definitions of one spouse's financial obligations to the other.  John A. Fiske describes this contract as a "mid-course correction."

 

One lawyer represented a couple who described themselves as sharing a deep love not just for their two children, but for each other.  However, something wasn't working.  Their contract required that the husband put the wife's name on specific property deeds (until this point, he had taken care of all finances without his wife being a part of the process), that he ensure that she had regular payments to private accounts for her, and that both spouses consult before making any major decisions about the children.  The wife reported, "It calmed me down."

 

Although these contracts may or may not be honored in court, they provide the couple with a chance to talk about their needs and to understand how much of a marriage is a "partnership" comprised of "agreements."  In both the one-day Dating 101 seminar and a "partnering" seminar I will be offering in the fall, I find it useful to help clients practice skills and strategies that can make this "agreement building" phase of a relationship much easier and more effective.  Contact me for more information about my therapeutic teachings about "partnering" and "agreements."

A recent article in the journal American Psychologist presents interesting findings as to why approximately 20% of proven wrongful criminal convictions result from false confessions.

 

Experiments show that police detectives and polygraph examiners are no better than the average citizen at distinguishing truth from lies.  Several studies show that trained and experienced police personnel exhibit enhanced confidence (leaning toward guilt) without increased accuracy.  Innocent people and those least familiar with the criminal justice system are more likely to waive their right to silence.  Common techniques used to interrogate suspects contribute to the risk of false confessions: for example, placing the suspect in small, bare, poorly lit rooms.  Finally, exhausted and sleepless suspects cannot think straight and become highly susceptible to suggestion.

 

The psychologist who reviewed this research recommends new guidelines on the length of interrogations, a rule against lying or presenting false evidence to suspects, a review of tactics that appear to promise leniency, and all investigators involved in a case watching tapes of all interrogations.

I feel that art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos.

--George Plimpton