Greed, like the love of comfort, is a kind of fear.

--Cyril Connelly

Research recently published by L. C. Hawkley in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that subjective reports of loneliness—even in early life—increase the presence of the substance TPR, which suggests the stiffening of arterial walls and a threat of later risk of cardiovascular problems. After significant research with college students, which included journaling and ruling out other activities that had an effect on the heart (diet, sleep, and so on), it was found that the subjective experience of the socializing mattered. In other words, the at-risk students reported that their social contacts were more stressful and less pleasant. (Incidentally, for members of both genders, it was found that spending time with women—but not with men—provided some protection against feelings of loneliness.)

Obviously, the skills required to select friendly acquaintances, avoid negative interactions, converse skillfully, and take control over the subjective experience of socializing are considerable. An experienced coach can assist a person in developing a richer and more satisfying social network.

As reported in the June 2004 issue of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, the brain responds to social exclusion and physical pain in similar ways (activity in the anterior cingulate cortex). Researchers speculate that this may serve an evolutionary function. The types of social exclusion that caused this neurological reaction include abandonment by someone close after a fight or falling out, separation initiated by someone close in response to violence, verbal or physical attack by someone close or by a person in authority; upsetting public behavior by someone close, humiliation by someone close, and delinquency of a child or the criminal act of a family member.

Events combining both humiliation and loss doubled the chance of developing major depression when compared with loss alone. Nothing else had that much effect.

Working with an experienced coach to select relationships wisely, to manage them, to stand up to humiliation, to decrease depression, and to control thoughts and emotions that come up as a result of such events can greatly temper the effect of this caustic type of loss.

In a recent issue of Psychological Bulletin, it has been found that massage therapy is very effective in combating depression and anxiety. One session of massage therapy alleviated depression for several weeks; more massage-therapy sessions have longer lasting effects. People with depression or anxiety were between 73% and 77% more likely to recover, if participating in massage therapy.

When selecting a personal guide or coach, make sure that that person understands how one accesses mind/body healing, in particular "mindfulness." For more information on mindfulness, contact me by e-mail.

Recent research by D. DeSteno indicates that, when angered, it is much easier to provoke unthinking hostility against a social group that did not exist before the experiment created it. Participants were asked to guess how many people engage in various events, including how many ride the New York City subway in a given day. The experiment then divided the group into "overestimators" and "underestimators."

After provoking anger in the participants by asking them to recall angering personal events, they were quicker to associate one of "them" (the opposite group of overestimators or underestimators) with negative words and phrases, and quicker to identify "us" with positive words and phrases. Sad and neutral memories did not have this effect.

Controlling anger can provide both personal and social benefits. Contact me for a copy of my tips sheet 8 Tips for Controlling Anger.

As described in the June issue of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, poverty affects children's emotions and behavior. In one study, the provision of nutritional supplements, medical inspections, and special education in a nursery school with small classes resulted in lower rates of antisocial behavior, psychotic symptoms, and schizotypal traits (odd beliefs, perceptions, and behavior, and more).

In another study, the researchers measured the effects of a Native American tribe's increase in income after gambling was approved on their reservation. Children whose families remained persistently poor were 60% more likely to have a psychiatric disorder than those whose families had never been poor. In families that moved out of poverty after the profits from the casinos were disbursed to the tribe's families, children's hyperactivity and antisocial behavior were greatly reduced. Within four years of the influx of money, these children had no more of these symptoms than children in families that had never been poor.